oh the memories...

It triggers in my head and I think about all the things that could have been. It brings the scene in my head forefront and center. I can't escape it, yet it needs to remain. Memories are bittersweet. That is what they are enough, memories. Past moments. It is so easy to remain in the past, in the memories, than to face the tomorrow. It needs to be surrendered. It is too hard to let go and move past. A cut that won't heal. A broken heart that won't mend. A trust that cannot be repaired. Once the feelings move along it marks us deeply. Along the way, it also cuts us. Does it make us bleed so we know we are alive? So we know the pain is real and alive still in us?

A memory it now becomes to us. We take them and we decide how they will make us live. But just when it seems to be a distant memory something is triggered. Whether by a friend, song, phrase, or favorite place they come flooding back. Here we are bleeding again. I wish I could say it gets easier, but I bleed as well. Time is a cruel friend during these moments. However, it does take time. The past will slowly move away from that memory, and there will be someone holding you in the end.

Jesus knows about memories and the past. He carried many memories with Him. His actually factually cut Him. He bled more than we could imagine, inside and out. When the pain is the salty tear falling on your lips, Jesus holds you. He holds you tighter than you feel it. When you just want to be by yourself thinking in your moment, He is there holding you. Whatever you need He can give that to you. Words are empty if they are not heart-felt. Hugs are worthless if there is no meaning. Comfort is null and void if there is no hope. Where is the hope we hold to so we can get past the memories? Where should it be?

Hurt is hard to move past. No one ever said sleeping would be comfortable on a bed of nails. Maybe tears are the only thing you want to shed right now. Time moves slowly on down your life. We need to keep in mind despite the emotional mess to pick ourselves up and move forward. We can't move backward. Jesus moved and picked up others along the way. He used His memories for a new road and walked. The past was still right behind Him, but he never looked back. We do.

Memories are triggered and we pause to reminisce. We did get a little further today though. It was a good day. Curses may come with fire, but blessings come with water to put it out. Our hearts will be restored. Someday when we look back we won't pause but continue walking. The journey will scar us and it will be deep at times. God will continue to hold us up. Maybe you need to cry time to time or just sit. Jesus will be with you feeling your pain and helping you move on. We need to let it go and open our hands to His strength. No more past memories that burden us with pain. The tornadoes have come and we need to organize ourselves. Let God take you and carry you. His grace is sufficient.

Memories are a beautiful distraction. So, let us be strong and move past the hard ones. Time can be a bittersweet friend, but God is always good.

decisions

When do we decide what road to take? Is it when our parents, friends, pastor, or co-worker tell us? Or does it rely on you making the decisions? When does something become too much for us to ponder on and then we give it back to God? Decisions over life goals, your future mate and where you are going to live are big decisions. Then all the other little ones come with it like a surprise we don’t want. But here it is all wrapped with a sign that says LIFE on the box. It looks pretty before you open it and all the mess spills out. However, God doesn’t see it like that. He sees opportunity everywhere and as we draw closer to Him we see it too. So do we draw on Him when the going gets tough or before? Praying without ceasing, as Paul says, even in the good times. So that boy asked you out, you need to pray for that relationship and for your heart so if good or bad happens you can handle it. You got that promotion, start praying how you can go above and beyond so you are not blindsided if you eventually end up in the unemployment office.

Decisions are a huge part of our lives so don’t shirk them as you live. Each one brings you somewhere new. The question is…is it where God wants you to be or YOU want you to be? How do you know the difference? Seek His wisdom in every decision. Jesus was constantly in prayer and conversing with God over everything. His road wasn’t easy, but an example to follow. As it goes without saying, with the good there is the bad. That is our curse. So don’t pity yourself if you finally got your dream job and a month later lost it. If we stay in prayer it will keep our hearts on course and prepared for what is to come. Prayer isn’t a convenience store; it is a conversation between you and your Creator. He knows the outcomes of the decisions already. Prayer won’t change that, but your heart can.

As we pray, our heart becomes aligned with God’s and we see things we couldn’t see before. Let me give an example. When girls are young, most of us think about who our husbands will be, and what we will be like married. Girls just have that in us. We nurture. But when we think and dream of our life we think about our husband and all the traits he has to become. I had traits that were required to love the Lord, be attractive, sing like Frank Sinatra, be physically strong, and make me laugh. Now while all that is well and good, it has changed today because my relationship with God wasn’t deep then. The Lord changed my heart over the years and it has evolved to becoming more responsible in what I look for in a future mate. Now I don’t have list and don’t think the unimaginable. I would love it if he is responsible, will grocery shop, is compassionate, has a passion for Christ and his dreams. A mate also needs to be encouraging you in your walk with Christ and is a solid rock to lean on to in times of blessing and trails. As we follow closely with the Lord we desire what He desires in every situation in life. It always turns out better. I still haven’t met him but as I continue to change with Christ my desires change. It is a sweet progression.

So decisions are a big part of life, so don’t diminish them. We need to bring them to Christ and seek wisdom, but we also need help from parents, friends, pastors, and whoever comes into our lives. But ultimately it needs to be you and him because your decisions change YOU, but affects others. As the saying goes ‘You’ve only got one life’ take full advantage of it. So don’t worry if you don’t get a promotion, a husband, or a place to live because God is bigger than that. It’s your life given to you, as gifts from God. So the questions is: are you groaning or smiling as you open it?